- When your caregiver is burned out
- When your pain isn't managed at home
- When your caregiver is unable to keep you safe, clean, dry
- When you cannot access suitable services at home
- When your care provider is unable to administer medications (i.e., @ 2 hours)
- When you are up at in the night and need 24/7 care
- If you live in a rural area without local nurses, or palliative services
- If a hospice placement, or hospital bed is available.
|My late friend, Kay, in PCCC|
Yes, you must make your wishes known to loved ones, but there comes a point when common sense means you must put the oxygen mask on yourself, before your loved one. You must survive.
My wise friend knew LTC was the place for her. She died peacefully, in her room, with family around her, in loving care.
My last client told us that if her husband could not manage, he was to take her to hospital. She was very wise.
Yes, you should do Advance Care Planning: end-of-life care.
|Many need catheters|
Caregivers are seldom prepared for giving medications, changing adult briefs, managing seizures, being afraid to administer pain medications, and may be afraid of taking a break and getting rest.
From a recent Vancouver study: Topf L, Robinson C, Bottoroff J:
When a desired home death does not occur: The consequences of broken promises.
J Pal- liat Med 2013;16:875–880.
Every day, I would set the alarm for every two hours and giveThe caregivers in this study revealed unresolved issues in feeling that they may have failed by putting a loved on in hospital. I think it a good place to die, with on-call doctors, CADDs to administer morphine, and staff to turn you every two hours, avoiding bed sores, and providing mouth care that those in end-of-life care may require.
him more meds. And sometimes I would sleep downstairs..
But you are so conscious of him moving around, you may as
well be in the same room. And I think that is why I had this
little episode that sent me to the Emerg, just kind of hit the wall.
I had numbness and tingling in one hand and a dizzy spell, and
I just thought, you know, this isn’t right. I need to check this
out. As it was, I think it was just God saying, you can’t do this
24/7. (67 years, female)
This is why bereavement programs are an important part of grief, mourning and bereavement.
Family caregivers, whether they are involved in the profession or not, are ill-prepared for providing intimate care for a mother or father. The last thing I did for my mother was to change her brief. For many, they do this for months.
This article provides a good analysis of the research:
Caregivers Suffer When Ill Family Members Promised Home Death Die Elsewhere
I know what family caregivers go through!