Monday, December 22, 2008

Unresolved issues with ailing parents

At this time of year, when everyone around you is singing and preparing and generally spreading mirth and merriment, caregivers are having a tough time.

When I was in the thick of things, I was hard-pressed to focus on anything. Even simple tasks absorbed way too much energy. Entertaining was out of the question.

There is guilt attached be being happy. Emotions were avoided at either end of the spectrum.

The air waves, and other media, are full of happy stories about people shopping, baking, preparing for guests while the caregiver blogs are full of emotional issues, unresolved by those fighting with parents.

The chart at the right was one of those on-line polls, but they let others know the needs of caregivers, especially at this time of year. If you can help someone out - please do. A listening ear is all some people need. You cannot solve their problems, but you can listen and remind them, 'You are a beautiful person!"

Feeling sad, angry, emotional, is normal, especially at this time of year. For those without supports in place it can be very tough. Siblings without responsibilities can be harmless, caring or relentless in telling you what to do. See them at Christmas can be a tough thing to manage.
For those caring for parents who lacked certain parenting skills, the anger can be merciless. I found much negativity and hostility as my parents become more ill, and yet we had an incredibly functional, loving caring family. Find some support. There are agencies out there that can help you. Talk to someone.

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